I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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