I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
