I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
