My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
