Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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