TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
