ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
