"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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