I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
