he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
