Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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