i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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