You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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