...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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