I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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