I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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