I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
