Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
