...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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