You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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