speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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