and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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