After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
