Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
