they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
