I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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