dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
whose parrot is this?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
