There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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