I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I enjoy the company of your penis
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