I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
