maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
