Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize