I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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