dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
