margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
