I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I smell stomach acid.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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