did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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