I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
