jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
