No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
