I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
