Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
