You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
