She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
