OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
