That's intense
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
