Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
