I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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