apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
where does the pee come out of this thing
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize