go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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