oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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