i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
