I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
