she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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