Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
