White coat. Heels.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
