Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
