This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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