Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize