my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I touched a dick in church today
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
