whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize