pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
