Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
