i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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