i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
