Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
